He backed away from me, leaving me leaning against the door breathing heavy, covering my breasts with my arm as I picked up my tank top and fixing my lip-gloss, he spoke so quietly. ‘I’m sorry, so sorry. I’m sorry, so sorry.’ he said repeated only those four words over and over again. He sat on the couch that he was just sobbing on fifteen minutes previous to what had just happened. I stood up and walked towards him stopping to fix the crumpled up persian rug he had stumbled over making sure nothing was out of place incase anyone were to walk in. I stood in front of him my crotch at his face level, I looked down at him waiting for an explanation for what had just happened. He looked at my crotch then looked up at me and asked me to sit next to him on the brown leather couch, I do as he asked and sat beside him facing him with my legs folded under my butt and my hands on my lap. He turned to me and placed his hand atop mine, ‘What we have just done was a mistake and was. I was a bit embarrassed to tell Dr. Z and Josie that I wasso eager to have intercourse that I purposely did not use protection butsuddenly something clicked in my brain. I realized that I shouldn't beso agitated because I was now 'with child'. Not, I should be welcomingit instead! I mean wasn't getting pregnant the whole point?Deciding to grow up and be a loving mother I placed my hands over mybelly and told whoever was in there know that their mommy loves them andwill love him or her forever. Even so I felt it was wasn't fair for mybaby to not have a daddy.I even gave thoughts that I should try dating, like one of those speed-dating clubs. Maybe there is some decent guy who wants to marry a 'used'and pregnant woman but that seemed a bit desperate.I ended up not moving. I also never unpacked. I did throw up frommorning sickness but the knowledge that I was growing a baby in me keptme going.Two weeks later I was still despondent about Devin. When I didn't answerthe phone calls.
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